At the moment I'm trying to focus on uni and studying lots and passing. I failed a few subjects last semester and now it rests on me to really make up for it with these coming exams. I know that if I try hard enough I can do it, I just have to stop getting distracted and stop procrastinating and just do it.

If i pass i know the summer break will be a lot more awesome because I won't be down about failing, and I won't have to think about what i'm going to do next year and if i have to repeat and yada yada.

Plus I have to remember that uni is really really expensive and although I willl be the one paying for it all in the future, my parents are still helping me out amazingly at the moment, and I don't want to have to keep making them do so.

One thing that doesn't make a lot of sense though, is the fact that I do cut myself sometimes, in moments of weakness. It's strange because I've been a lot more down and depressed in the past, and I never could bring myself to do anything, I would just cry and write and go insane. But now, I'm not depressed but I get hurt and I get down, so i cut and it all seems ok.

Clearly it's not an ok way to cope, but it's working, and I'm not doing it as much, so yeah. We'll see.

Miss you all! xo