They all have phone phobia.

Even if it's nothing romantically inclined or after a night out, or anything, and they're just your friends, why do they always say they're going to call and never do?

( Sunday, May. 18, 2003 + 10:27 pm )
Time you take it.

I've spent a lot of this week and since last Thursday with a particular boy. A new boy kind of. A band boy.

I've spent three nights in the same bed with him, but nothing has happened, and its' good, because I don't want anything to happen.

We've talked a lot. About all kinds of things. Deep things, stupid things.

I've punched him at least ten times.

He's nice.

And last night when we were lying in bed and talking, it felt like he was going to kiss me, and I really didn't want him to so I closed my eyes and pretended to go to sleep, even though it was dark and you could'nt really see anything.

Nothing happened.

I just do'nt want to go down the path I took with Chris. You know? And I don't even feel that way towards him anyway.

Speaking of Chris. I saw him last night. And I like him, and I hate that. But I think i'm over him and that is good. And I realise how stupid I must have seemed liking him that much. I can see how off putting it must have been. But at the time that's how i felt and i just tried to express it and a trying to not be over bearing way.

Obviously it didn't work and I never heard from him again.

Last night he hugged me and asked me about what I'd been up to. He's cut his hair and dyed it. He looked the same though, and he was still nice and still stupidly funny and I just hate how we aren't anything now.

I want to be something to him. Anything.

I also want 6 weeks of stress free paid holidays starting from tomorrow.