He thinks we made out too early. I never thought i would hear a guy say that.

And we both agreed we've kind of put ourselves in a weird situation. So the only thing to do is hang out some more, work on being friends and see what happens.

Well you know that was fine until i went to the orthodontist and got in trouble for not wearing my plates, and got jabbed and stuff, and then when I got home, I sat in my car in the garage and cried because everything was too much.

And then I went inside and watched Reality Bites and cried some more.

So i was completely down and meh, and then he came online again, and we talked some more and he cheered me up and now I'm fine.

I'm not sure what's happening exactly. I figure we'll just hang out some time, and yeah, be friends.

But does that mean no making out?

Damn. Well no making out for the time being. It can come later.

I guess it's good though, like he doesn't want to rush things. I'm glad. But I also just want him to be in love with me and never let go.

But that's because i watch too much TV.

Oh and he thinks the distance could be a problem. Which I hadn't really seen as a big deal, i drive an hour and 15 mins to get to uni every day, and he lives 20 mins from uni.

Sure there's petrol, I guess that's quite a bit to come see me, but hrmm. It would annoy me a lot if a boy didn't want to be with me just because i was inconvenient.

You know?

Oh well, i'm not down, and yeah stuff will happen.

( Wednesday, Apr. 16, 2003 + 9:59 am )
So yeah...

I hate not knowing what is going on with guys. It's always been the hardest part about meeting someone knew. It's like this constant thing that eats away at me......whether they really like me etc, where whatever we have is going.

It just really gets to me.

And at the moment the whole Chris thing is getting to me. I have no real clue how he feels about me, it seems kind of dead between us actually, which is ridiculous because I really didn't think this was going no where.

But at the same time I don't want to seem like the attached, possessive type that wants to know everything, and can't just let things be, or happen.

But if I don't do anything, then maybe he'll just think i'm not interested and nothing will ever really happen.

Last night when we were chatting, he ended our conversation with "later mate" and then went offline. For some reason that just left me thinking "wtf?". It just seemed weird.

So yeah, the plan is to just talk to him when he comes online next and find out what he's feeling. Because i'm supposed to be myself right? Well i am this person that really needs to know what's going on otherwise she's going to go crazy.

Like I woke up in the middle of the night, completely hating him. How wrong is that.

Hrm.