That and my stomach is being a complete bitch. I'm so bloated I could be pregnant.

I rang Joel. All is cool, but I felt disappointed for some reason. Like it wasn't much of a big deal to him that we hadn't spoken in so long, or it didn't seem like it anyway.

He said he's going to ring me tomorrow. But I doubt it for some reason. I dont know why I dont have any faith but I don't.

I'm very meh at the moment. If you hadn't already noticed.

I'm supposed to be going to the city this Friday after uni and meeting a boy off the net and going to a gig. A gig of a band that I don't really like at all, just to meet more people off the internet. So yeah, I guess that all sounds pretty dodgy and I'm not even sure if I want to go anymore.

Hanging out with couples makes me feel sad. For myself.

Lee was going through my bedside drawers and found my diary. He wanted to read some but of course I wouldn't let him, but now he knows where it is so I bet he'll try another time. So I'll have to move it. But that's just so annoying because that's the best place for it to live. It's easy to access there.

If he reads it, my life will just get a whole lot more complicated, and I can do without that. And he'll find out a lot of stuff about me that I just dont need out there.

And the thing is, if he does read it, he of course won't mention it to me, but he'll talk to others about it. So he'll talk about me behind my back, about stuff I wrote privately in a diary. And if I find out he has done so, I will most definately ignore him big time. It might actually wreck out whole friendship, specifically any trust.

I just want to know what the right thing is to do. About everything.