I really want to call him but at the same time I don't. I don't want to seem desperate or lonely or needy, but I do want him to know that I miss him.

It's been about 4 days....i think. Going from everyday contact to no contact is shocking. Especially when you don't know why.

I went out on the weekend and there were actually boys interested, and boys that could have been potential make-out-ers. But yeah then we had to leave.

I'm meeting a boy on friday and hanging out with him and then going to a show. A show as in bands. When I organised it I wasn't the least bit worried, but now I'm getting nervous. Just like "ahh is it really the right thing to meet people off the internet" nervous. Especially when I don't tell anyone that's what I'm doing.

Because no one understands.

Some girl i went to primary school with found me on moc and lj and ahhh. That's like what I've dreaded all along yeah? So now I might just have to go erase myself from the internet.

Not here though, because this is all secret, but just the places I was getting too open.

Gah I can't believe he hasnt' contacted me in like 5 days. I've emailed him a few times, and sms-ed him at least twice, and still nothing. Yes I should ring him but I would only be able ot chat for like 5 mins and I know I would want longer.

So sucks.